Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Beware your farts will find you out



We at Cross-Eyed are not above appealing to the lowest common denominator and no greater example of this scraping the barrel is fart jokes.  Watch the video below; it’s short and it’s totally not true (I think), but for the purposes of this post, let’s assume that it is true.  So suspend your disbelief…


I don’t know about you but I do a few farts in my day and the thing about farting while out and about is that you’ve gotta be a little bit ninja about it.  Having a toddler with you helps because you can “fudge” the truth and imply that it was them (Gasp!  I would never do that! *wink* *wink*)  When outside standing down wind helps.  You can do it in the room as you exit with another person… sneaky, sneaky… but the aim of the game to be sure is to get it out and not get caught!  Which is what makes this video so devastating; there is a technology out there that means you can’t slide a sneaky little gas bomb into a room and get away with it.  You shall be caught in your smelly little tracks!  Frightening stuff.



The video is pretty hilarious but at the same time horrifying that something which we try to hide so carefully can be caught out so badly.  That something so secret can be revealed so easily.  It reminded me of the shame of Judgement Day when God warns us that all our secret thoughts, secret smells, secret sins and secret squirrels will be exposed for the world to see; like a fart on an infrared camera.  That thought horrifies me!  I would rather people did not know what I was thinking about at any given moment.  This video is a vivid illustration of how terrible it would be to have all of those little secret things we think are hidden away in our minds revealed to the world.  And yet there is good news in all of this horror. 

The good news is that on That Day those of us who realise that our self-righteous, angry and lustful thoughts towards our neighbours are sins against God for which we should be ashamed; and have cried out to God for his mercy (and received it through Christ’s work on the cross) will not have our secrets exposed before God and the watching world.  This is because Christ’s blood covered oursins (whew!), even our secret ones, and our lives are hidden with Christ on high. Our sins both public and private are all crushed by his death and resurrection and cannot be revealed before God for they have been washed away forever. 

There is no comforting news for my secret farting; I am doomed by society to continue my clandestine crop dusting hoping that no one will call me out on it but I forever rejoice that though my secret (and not so secret) sins are many, Christ’s forgiveness is more.



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